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The ECS Humor Section

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Unread postby GregDowell » Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:57:16 am

Hello, everyone! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the game doesn't go our way or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

My brother just broke my lamp..

I'm not sure that I'll be able to look at him in the same light ever again.
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Unread postby GregDowell » Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:57:48 am

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"
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Unread postby GregDowell » Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:58:11 am

This new thesaurus I bought is the worst..

Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
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Unread postby Nicholaus » Thu Jan 18, 2018 11:25:23 am

My favorite go to joke is this one...

What's the difference between a US Savings Bond and a drummer?

A US Savings Bond will eventually mature and earn money.

*note: I love our drummers!
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Nicholaus
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Unread postby skamhes » Thu Jan 18, 2018 3:00:11 pm

Nicholaus wrote:My favorite go to joke is this one...

What's the difference between a US Savings Bond and a drummer?

A US Savings Bond will eventually mature and earn money.

*note: I love our drummers!


Hey, not cool!! True. But not cool!! :D :D
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skamhes
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Unread postby GregDowell » Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:56:15 am

Lol! Just keep 'em coming, guys! :D
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Unread postby GregDowell » Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:57:10 am

So..I got banned from laser tag today..

Apparently, you can’t use a knife to conserve ammo.
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Unread postby GregDowell » Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:58:49 am

"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband.

"I think there's water in the carburetor."

"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is."

"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I 'm sure there's water in the carburetor."

"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"

"In the swimming pool."
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Unread postby GregDowell » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:45:47 am

So much for privacy..

Google: We really value your privacy.

Twitter: We’d never collect anything.

Apple: We securely encrypt everything on-device.

Facebook: Literally gives you an ad for something you dreamt about.
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Unread postby GregDowell » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:46:27 am

There's an international multi-event competition for military spouses, but the same team wins every year..

The Swiss Army Wives.
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Unread postby GregDowell » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:47:53 am

My girlfriend thinks I'm pretentious..

She walked in on me reading a book on Existential Philosophy.

She was like, "Oh my God! Are you for real?"

I said, "That's what I'm trying to figure out."
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Unread postby GregDowell » Thu Jan 25, 2018 12:46:17 am

Why are women bad at parking?

Because men have told them that this (holds thumb and index finger 2 inches apart) is 8 inches.
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